My heart hurts for what has happened in Newtown. I don’t understand how something like this could happen and quite honestly, I don’t want to be able to make sense of this horrific event.
I first heard the news after walking my first graders to the lunch line and then headed into the teacher’s lounge where the TV was uncharacteristically on. It was just me and the other first grade teachers, our hearts breaking as we heard the news. We were all so high and positive two minutes prior, wearing PJ’s and celebrating the end of our school week and beginning of winter break by having a Polar Express Winter party. Our spirits crashed and we were all in tears.
It’s been 5 days since the event and I still can’t get it out of my mind. The heartache those parents must be feeling. The beautiful stories about their little babies that they keep sharing, what a loss this world is suffering without them. The teachers, the principal, and other staff members, it’s just horrible.
As a teacher, I can’t help but think that this could have easily been any school, any teacher and any set of innocent students. How is this event going to change me, how can I be more prepared for something like this, do I want to be paranoid of something so evil happening? I don’t have curtains in my room, I don’t always lock my door, those are little steps I plan on changing. What about the office though, and the ease of hoping a low fence, the fact that people will get through if they want to, the fact that there are so many guns, and so many disturbed people in this world…it’s overwhelming and I wish I could stop thinking about it. My husband told me last night that there has been over 270,000 gun-related deaths since 2001! I just don’t understand, life is precious and it’s not always easy but when will things change?
As we greet each day, let’s try to be kinder, patient, more compassionate, and live life with the understanding that it is a gift and we don’t know when our time will come.
Peace and Love